I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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