I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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