I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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