It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
