The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
