Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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