im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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