No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
