i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
