Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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