i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want her autograph on my taint
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
