he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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