This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
