You work out of a Hotel?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
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Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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