I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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