if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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