My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
