why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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