yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
