You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
