The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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