I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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