You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize