We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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