just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
