Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
