How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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