There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
