How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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