The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
