Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
