I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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