i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
