Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
