did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
