Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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