the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
