i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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