he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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