dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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