so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
