Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
