I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
