My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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