shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
