420 ftw
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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