so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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