You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
