Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
