i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
