Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
