The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
