And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
