Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
