Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
