I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
