im gay
i know
yea but for you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
