I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
