so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
