Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
