White coat. Heels.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize