i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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