So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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