so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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