on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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