addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
