Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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