you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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