if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
