Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
